The hurt is continual, waiting for change. A difference to what already has been proven over a wasteland of time. “Keep your chin up,” he told me. “Everything will be alright.” And now, he is gone, as I wade in the aftermath of what was left behind. Why must another’s neglect to possibilities affect one after so many years? Why do I cry for a father who once abandoned me, now dead, and for a step-father who chooses to ignore the love that waits to surround him? I think, I just ache for something I once knew, that was stolen.
My love is an ocean in which I drown.
We must accept what is and release what will never be, and, so today, I let you go. Your present is the only one left, that waits for you, under my Christmas tree. A lonely, little package that reflects the girl I once was. I will allow her freedom from the pain that was not hers to endure. The responsibilities placed upon her as a child struggling to understand adult stupidity. You are free from all I held on to. My life is mine own and your sorrow is, unfortunately, one you helped to create.
I pray some day, too, you can be released from the binds that keep you bound. I send you sunshine, a vision for clarity and peace.