The hurt is continual, waiting for change.  A difference to what already has been proven over a wasteland of time.  “Keep your chin up,” he told me.  “Everything will be alright.”  And now, he is gone, as I wade in the aftermath of what was left behind.  Why must another’s neglect to possibilities affect one after so many years?  Why do I cry for a father who once abandoned me, now dead, and for a step-father who chooses to ignore the love that waits to surround him?  I think, I just ache for something I once knew, that was stolen.

My love is an ocean in which I drown.

We must accept what is and release what will never be, and, so today, I let you go.  Your present is the only one left, that waits for you, under my Christmas tree.  A lonely, little package that reflects the girl I once was.  I will allow her freedom from the pain that was not hers to endure.  The responsibilities placed upon her as a child struggling to understand adult stupidity.  You are free from all I held on to.  My life is mine own and your sorrow is, unfortunately, one you helped to create. 

I pray some day, too, you can be released from the binds that keep you bound.  I send you sunshine, a vision for clarity and peace.