Roomba Please

Roomba Please, say it isn’t so…You have got to be kidding me!

A detailed conversation with my vacuum cleaner:

Tell me there is no possible way that I accidentally pushed the red button on your dirt reservoir while picking you up off my beautiful dark carpet.  Tell me that your plastic sleek lined body did not just separate into two pieces. Tell me I am not holding your motor in one hand and the grime receptacle in the other upside down, as all your hard work falls out in clumps of dust and debris.

Tell me my dearest Roomba that my company is not to arrive in less than five minutes.  Tell me your battery is still charged.  Tell me your are a master of your craft and in my haste can undo all that I have created.  Tell me I did not just holler a sailor’s rich variety of profanity while my cherub faced three-year-old grandchild is watching me in wonder. 

And lastly, I ask you to tell me that this is not the way my day should continue.  

In conclusion…Your poker player’s steely gaze and blank stare tells me everything I need to know.

PS…No rechargeable devices were hurt in the creation of this post.

Send Sunshine your Friday is here and weekend near.

32 Comments Add yours

  1. seefleckrun says:

    I feel your pain! Nothing worse than a vacuum mishap before company comes! (Despite this, your post made me laugh out loud… I’m sorry! 🙂 )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bleepers, anyway. Your laugh = my joy!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. mnghostt says:

    did you have a cat sitting on top of it. they are known from time to time to sabotage electronic devices

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No, I don’t own a cat…goodness me. It would give me something other than my vacuum to blame and talk to. Hah!


      1. mnghostt says:

        Wanna rescue kitty??? how about a fat lazy boy??? My Fat Boy cat doesn’t do anything if it requires effort unless it means he has to get up and demand that I feed him. otherwise he’s all “Don’t bother me while I save my strength for something important. Like eating.”

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Did you say he could learn how to power Roomba on?


      3. mnghostt says:

        Fat Boy? that would require effort and he avoids effort at all costs. He would more than likely lay on it and let it take him around so he wouldn’t have to walk anywhere. that way he could save more energy for eating and sleeping.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. And receive an electronic massage.


      5. mnghostt says:

        He would probably stretch and fall off. But he would wait for it to come back around so he could get back on.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This made me laugh too!! Thanks!! Happy Friday 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lynn k scott says:

    “A sailor’s rich variety….” *giggles*

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jeanne says:

    Yey Friday. I wish I had a Roomba….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Perhaps the Roomba gods are listening. 🙂


  6. Erica Herd says:

    Very cute. Our last roomba had to be put to rest after it vacuumed up a nice pile of kitty vomit–yes, you heard right. Unfortunately we were not at home at the time and could not stop it in its tracks. Needless to say, we only run it now when one of us is there to supervise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They definitely cannot be trusted.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. jdawgswords says:

    LMAO/ROF!!! well, the 3yr gotta learn how to talk from somebody…**gasping for breath**…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your Roomba posts so much… so absurd it’s amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s funny – if today wasn’t “Fiction Friday,” I probably would have blogged about cleaning my Dyson. I’ve had the thing since at least 2007… Today it needed a little maintenance to get it working properly when I went on a rare “Cleaning Binge.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Roomba’s brother Dyson now sits in the closet for those harrowing days when I must lug his large presence out. Hah, I love him too!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. barnraised says:

    Somehow I can not imagine “send sunshine” using a “sailor’s rich variety of profanity”!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Occasionally to my shame…A word or two slips out. 😦


      1. barnraised says:

        So…you’re human? It’s ok 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  11. zebracourage says:

    No, Roomba! Say it isn’t so!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish it wasn’t… 😦


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